The Season

January 27, 2013 - Leave a Response

Well the weather, health and holidays kept me away.
I will come back later, just had a nagging feeling to post something and not let this go by the way side.


happy happy joy joy

November 29, 2012 - Leave a Response

Saturday Morning

November 10, 2012 - Leave a Response

I was supposed to go over to Minnesota with my husband this morning  and when I woke up, he was gone. I’m really surprised. I hope he comes back soon.  In the mean time I’m watching videos and listening to some philosophical arguments. I have a BBC program to watch, their rendition of Thomas Hardy’s Tess. It has a longer name than that. 

I was informed this morning that my son has passed his GED! I’m so excited. Maybe we’ll go out and celebrate later. We’re just back in the country and already we’re raring to go. I thought it would take longer frankly. The two of us need to go take the driver’s test and get our licenses, too. Once that’s done, I’m going to feel like we’re definitely back in the states.  I’m not looking forward to the insurance rates, though. 

Ok, off to pamper my emotional neediness. 

Strange goings on

November 9, 2012 - Leave a Response

So last night was my first real sleepless night here, the kind where I was up with anxiety and not feeling normal. I didn’t have anything I was worried about, I’m referring to a physiological anxiety. My only worry mentally was that I was not sleeping. It’s almost like a half panic state. So after dawn I was able to get sleep, but still had that feeling that I was not sleeping and was worrying about what was wrong with me. 

My next worry was that I would sleep all day to make up for it, but no, I got about four hours of sleep and getting up seemed fine. Who knows what will happen tonight. 

I’m currently reading/listening to.. Team of Rivals the book about Lincoln that Obama loves. So far there is nothing earth shattering about it, but I can see how it could make Obama feel special and inspired. He’s definitely got some things in common with our most celebrated president in history. 

I’m hoping not to get depressed, because when I have sleep issues,, I feel like I let my family down. 

Maximum Big Surprise

November 6, 2012 - Leave a Response

So a few days ago I was reminded once again not to post on the internet after drinking. I’m referring to facebook and stating my opinions in a less that subtle, too obnoxious kind of way, and then regretting it for days afterwards. 

I really think I should pick a lane and drive in it. Either stand by your obnoxious-ness, or don’t do it if it’s going to bug you so much. So.. verdict. NO posting after a few beers. 


On to today. Today is election day. My husband has probably never hit a person in his entire life, but would if someone tried to suppress his vote today! Watch out! He will make his mark as a Democrat in South Dakota. Actually it’s very likely there is no funny business going on at the polls here, this state is so red, I don’t think they worry for one second about it. I hope democrats here don’t feel like their vote doesn’t matter… I hope they show up to be counted. 

I have some ideas for future political activity. I would like to see a movement take place, a HUGE meme campaign that gets republicans to tell their elected officials that they WILL NOT tolerate voter suppression. 

I know quite a few republicans, and if we can get them past the embarrassment phase and into the “Hell no I don’t support that” phase, almost all the republicans I know would go for it. I am also pushing on facebook for ‘come on republicans, send a message you want a more moderate party’  

There are lots of people embarrassed by how right wing it is. I liked a page called “republicans for choice”, which is a pretty small page, but there are pro choice republicans out there. And there were quite a few first lady republicans that were pro choice, I posted that graphic.

Pro choice is more controversial, but being anti voter suppression is a slam dunk. I think I’m going to make some calls to some strategists and see if someone can get that going. It can start with a commercial with republican voters testimonies that they are appalled by voter suppression. There can be phone campaigns and polls taken and reported in the news, etc. You know… however stuff gets spread. They need to send a message to elected officials they DO NOT LIKE IT and will not tolerate it. etc.

This can be done. 

You know, this type of crap has gone on long before 2000 and the democrats did not scream about it, and the news barely covered it. Greg Palast covered it. (He has a free book out now btw) . This should be something that was handled over ten years ago. I don’t think I should have to hear about the problems from alternative news sources. 

Also, before I forget, We DO have moderate republicans now a days. They are democrats. But that’s not doing anyone any good, because people are voting along party lines and listening to Fox Noise.

Time to get another cup o joe and hob knob with republican friends and family on facebook. I am very careful about what I post, it’s very informational. What I was talking about at the outset was on a feminist facebook page, that didn’t involve people I know. I was bitching about people’s obtuse tossing of the word “choice” like it’s “freedom” and needs no context or qualifiers. 

Gee THAT’s what I should have said instead of “FUCK YOU” etc. drunken spiel, etc. 


Cold Fingers

October 25, 2012 - Leave a Response

Today is the first snow of the year here in South Dakota. 

The ground is warm so all the sidewalks and roads and driveways are perfectly clear, but we have snow covered trees and grass and parked cars. It’s not even cold in the house. It’s after two thirty and I just turned the heat on because I’d like to be warmer, but it’s not so cold. 

I found interesting blogs today and revisited some of my old topics. I looked into lots of local goodies online, and it seems that there are lots of liberal minded people in this state involved in arts and entertainment and people who run shops and businesses. It’s apparent by what interests them and what they post that they are NOT the religious right that dominates politics here. I plan to visit a nightclub and some shops I found earlier. 

I’m angry. 

First of all I’ve been through a world wind of life  happenings. Think of three overwhelming life events that can wreak havoc on frail to moderately stable psychologies and I’ll give you six that I’m immersed in, and have been for months straight. One small factor is that this is my first cold winter in decades. Well, it’s been since I was 17 years old that I experienced a snowy mid west winter. No, that is not one of the six life happenings that I’m counting it’s a subset of one or more. 

Growing up I had winter depression. I got the depo provera shot and the side effects said, “May cause depression.” I am newly married, in a new area, a cold one, and over the years have suffered from PTSD. So here’s hoping that depression will not kick in. If someone said, “here, take this pill, it will give you the flu.” and you thought about how miserable you would feel and pictured yourself nauseated and retching at contact with any food, how easy would it be for you to take that pill? When I think of depression I start to feel it, and I get down right scared. I say Please God No, and I’m pretty sure I don’t believe in god. 

I’m concerned that although I’ve been sailing through these major life happenings, that perhaps I’m teetering on a foundation that could definitely be toppled by some birth control hormonal change, some fundamental organic tipping point, and because there is so much going on, I’m worried that my crash would be more devastating than what is normal. Whatever that means. I mean, not just a case of the blues, but omg I’m back in the US after eight years in the third world and I’m married to some one I have not lived with and my father died before I could get home and my family is acting crazy over the family house,and big stuff like that. 

I know it’s Halloween, that season, and I know that I should not be vain, but this Linda Blair look is getting me down, yet is not motivation enough to move beyond petrified in my chair at my personal computer. 

At least maybe my writing skills will return. That’s always the plus side of depression/dementia.


Sex Trafficking Minnesota

October 25, 2012 - Leave a Response

Back “home”.

October 22, 2012 - Leave a Response

So our three week/month long adventure is done and we’re back “home”. It’s my husband’s home and new to me. South Dakota really is beautiful. I was able to get started immediately supporting Planned Parenthood. I don’t have insurance and don’t have tied tubes yet. This reproductive health and birth control thing is so involved and so not fun.

We’re settling in nicely and things are going smoothly. It’s going to start to get colder, and was super cold the day we got here and the day after, but since then we’ve had a reprieve. That might be over. I’m on a new laptop, and it’s hard to type. I have always been used to typing a million words a minute, and so I hate any obstacle to that is as annoying as some speech impediment, very frustrating.

I have not been able to catch up with manboobz at all yet… hardly- I glanced at the site a couple of times.
I appear to be in a robotic stage of just getting things done and spending time with friends and family, I am not very net oriented at all. I want to participate more.

I have been able to eat what I like more, which is a steady diet of not torturing animals, or contributing to their being bred for torture. Heroes are the ones right now responsible for making vegan options normal in our culture. We still have a long way to go, but hopefully in the future it will seem like cave man history when there were animal products laced in with everything sold and everything on a menu. Mark was telling me they showed Forks Over Knives in a store in the big city here. In that same store they sold all kinds of surprisingly ridiculous products. Like for one, the big TUB of casein protein powder. I don’t know what people eat that for, but that animal protein has been found to be one of the reasons animal products are so bad for people. I’m certainly no expert, though. These are just my first thoughts on seeing that.

And Morning Star Vegetarian patties for “burgers” have egg whites in them. Grrrrr.
I need to do some recipe hunting.

Santa B.

September 28, 2012 - Leave a Response

Well for one thing, I have a new laptop where the keyboard is flat and I’m not used to that, and I have nails, and I’m not used to that. It’s hard to type. The nails are not long according to the shop, they are “natural, short”. But they still give me struggles. This is the first time ever ever I have had fake nails. They are good for me.

Ok so we made it out of Las Vegas. I am a married woman now. We rented a car in Los Angeles and are up in SB now. My cousins came up and we got to work making this place rentable. The landscaper is starting tomorrow and we are doing thousands of dollars of tree work in the yard. So much needs to be done. I’m grateful that my family has such a nice place and I was left enough funds to fix it (just enough) but also mad that people here were pack rats and put things in the garage up to the ceiling almost. What is the point of that? Everything gets wrecked, it’s gross and hard to throw out. Mark is the one that has done the most sweating over that. Grrrr. I have but not nearly as much as him and my cousin D busted her ass out there.

I’m nervous about having to leave, but not having everything done. We’re headed to my new home in South Dakota the first week of October. We pick up the travel permit for the urn today. I really did get my dad a nice urn that suits him perfectly. Mark saw just how much after being at the natural history museum, one of my favorite places on earth. They have a sand crane exhibit that shows the terrain here and it looks a lot like the urn. At some point we are going down to Nebraska to see the sand cranes there. That’s on the bucket list, but Mark associates those birds with Not California. This area is quite amazing.

I can not believe we have been able to get in so much work and legal stuff AND honeymoon, etc. I’m so pleased and not at all used to things working like this.

Married, in Santa Barbara, and working like mad.

September 24, 2012 - Leave a Response

A lot has happened.

Will do.


Back Later.